We're singing for angels now
To be truly known by God is to be famous.
“Fear of God is the beginning of wisdom and Knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.”
I woke up this morning singing a song we wrote and rocked out to last night and I saw angels above me. The Lord said, “You’re singing for angels now. Don’t ever think you’re not performing for a packed house because stadiums of angels are watching you.”
This week was one of the most trying and exhausting weeks of my life. I went from feeling physically and mentally beaten down to feeling like my flesh was finally subdued into a place where I could be all worship. It was a wonderful place to get through and it only came through immense pain.
On Thursday I was trying to land a kick in capoeira that hit on the exact place that I had twisted my knees many years before and memories flashed before my eyes. I fell back in pain and went to the bathroom to try and gather myself. I sobbed and sobbed and sobbed as memories of the past few years flashed before my eyes. I saw all the times I felt less than and unworthy and unable to move forward. I saw the times I lugged a keyboard around Edinburgh only to come to a venue with no one in it.
Then I kept pushing through it and came to church on Sunday dead tired. As I stay half awake through the service, the sermon was about rest. And that we need rest for our souls. I joined my friend after for rock climbing and the next day my entire flesh was on fire.
Physically I was done, mentally I was done, and emotionally I was completely heartbroken. I had pushed myself to the limit. Not to mention, I’ve taken over as a substitute teacher for a chemistry class and I’m learning it as I go. When I finish writing this post I have to make sure I can teach chemistry tomorrow, send out our weekly content recap, and then go to sleep. I gotta check on my Pokemon though.
All of this sounds absurd. This is pure stream of consciousness because I don’t have time to edit. But I know that continuing to write and to perform and to speak and getting to that place of pure worship is the point.
My stream of consciousness is enough because the angels are watching. I am known by God. And this is the beginning of understanding. Man, I know I’m loved, but being understood is a whole other thing.
So for now, I gotta go figure out how to do chemistry. But I’m gonna be a comedian again. And today I learned that even the angels laugh. And there’s a lot of them.
One day, I’m going to look back at these posts and be like, I can’t believe I acted like no one was watching. And I’m sure I’ll be famous in the world’s eyes. But today, I know I’m extremely famous because my reputation is much bigger when I understand that my Creator knows me and loves me.
Sincerely Yours,
The Paraprosdokianist
